commit 95c5d95b7217b3eecd80036bab7c076dedec569a
parent 8ecec309dbf101e8b02452b2159c4d04da018632
Author: rob <rob@tarina.org>
Date: Mon, 21 Nov 2022 22:14:53 +0200
ninjakungfoo
Diffstat:
| M | coder.fountain | | | 247 | +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++------------- |
1 file changed, 209 insertions(+), 38 deletions(-)
diff --git a/coder.fountain b/coder.fountain
@@ -206,7 +206,7 @@ Yeah I knew it, you didnt have the balls to do it. I got this rope for notin.
KID1 gathers himself and go for the jump.
-KID1 jump outta one window holdin on to this rope. He then swing around the tree, go inside another room on the other side of the tree, he go through a window.
+KID1 jump outta one window holdin on to this rope. He then swing around the apple tree, go inside another room on the other side of the tree, he go through a window.
INT. FAMILY TV ROOM
@@ -1074,44 +1074,58 @@ Coder turns some knobs and the buzzing is once again escalating. Everything is e
There's suddenly this on coders main machine screen. Like a history channel news thing. A RANDOM GUY READING THE NEWS, 30-ish.
A RANDOM GUY READING THE NEWS
-Evel Company has a bug and Evel Knivel Hans Lillehammer makes the worst stupidest thing you can do to imagine, he makes a game that look very real but in this game you acctualy controlling other human beeings in the Evel Link, Neurolin I meen Eurolink, it's been some years since the real Elon died, who was the guy behind NeuroLink, a big success back then but. You all know what's been the word on the street. No one think he the same guy anymore. I meen he, he cant be. ok. I dont think he even human beein for crying out loud. He robot. Thats right, I dont know how they do it. But their good, I meen really crazy shit ass good.
+Evel Company has a bug and Evel Knivel makes the worst stupidest thing you can do to imagine, he makes a game that look very real but in this game you acctualy controlling other human beeings in the Evel Link, Neurolin, I meen Eurolink, it's been some years since the real Elon died, who was the guy behind NeuroLink, a big success back then but. You all know what's the word on the street. No one think he the same guy anymore. I meen he, he cant be. ok. I dont think he even human for crying out loud. He robot. Thats right, I dont know how they do it. But the are good, I meen, they are really crazy shit ass good in what they try to pull.
-It was a feature Evel COmbany and EuroLink been developing for years but not yet released to the public do to still some bug fixes like you feel dizzy after you do it. The most stupidiest and evelest man got his hands on it and released it as a goddam virus, it got everywhere. Can you imagine, that's why we have to talk about Hoodie and Hoodie, and Madbaker. And Coder. You know what they did. Without theem we'd be history. So I want to dedicate this to the motherfucking international groovy son of a bitch voodoo ass tities pussy dick bitch gay homo nazi nigger loving dude there is, he is satan and god combnined crunshed togeter to a normal human being. like so. btw. Dont believe in any of that shit or in any of this shit for that matter. Tha'd why we need to focus on these guys, what they did was sort of completely extordinary.
+RANDOM INTERNET HISTORIAN CONITUNE
+It was a feature Evel COmbany and EuroLink been developing for years but not yet released to the public do to still some bug fixes like you feel dizzy after you do it. The most stupidiest and evelest man got his hands on it and released it as a virus, it got everywhere, he hoewvr did it got the keys to it. Can you imagine. This is then now confimer that the bug has something to do with the scavengers. They can wake up. Both only if the belive they dead or if chip removed somehow. It is dangerous to remove chip if you in.
-Bang!
+NARRATOR
+Ok, we stop it right here.
-HOODIE
-Ouw maan why you hitting me.
+Picture freezes.
-CODER
-Tone it down maan.
+NARRATOR
+Soo. we need to talk about Leon and Hoodie, and Madbaker. And Coder. You know what they did. Without theem we'd be history. So I want to dedicate this to the motherfucking international groovy son of a bitch voodoo ass tities pussy dick lickin bitch gay homo nigger cocksucker ass nazi moon...
HOODIE
-Fuck you man.
+Hey, you say ass twice man.
-CODER
-(sighns Big Lez style) u didnt have to say all those dick pussy nigga words.
+NARRATOR
+...space dickface sapiens cocoloco love u all yeah right dude man there is, he is satan and god combnined crunshed togeter to look like a normal human being. like so. btw. Dont believe in any of that shit or in any of this shit for that matter. Belive in Your Shit You Dip Shit Ass Hole Cock Sucker Evel Knivel I Come to Get You. You beter get Down. Tha'd why we need to focus on these guys, what they did was sort of completely extordinary.
+
+Bang! Coder is turning up some frequencies on the grounding machine or whatever. More Electic buzzing sound. Tesla coil sounds.
HOODIE
-Listen Hoodieman.
+Tone it down maan.
CODER
-Wha? you talking to me?
+Fuck you man.
HOODIE
-Coder got this man. Coder got this.
+you talking to me?
CODER
+I got this. I got this.
+
+HOODIE
+(to Madbaker)
I always knew Coder got it. I meen Coder got it, he gets it. Ya.
HOODIE
+(to Madbaker)
We just worry about a new soundsystem man, then we'll be a'aight.
-CODER
+MADBAKER
I guess so maan, I guess so.
+(rage)
+What the fuck is going on? Why the fuck is everything exploading around us? What the fuck. Who the fuck are those cocksucker trying to kill everyone.
-A RANDOM GUY READING THE NEWS
-There's a war going on and Putin is about to loose the war. It's been going on for 15 years non stop. Europe and the world is united about taking him Daaaoouwwn and is doing it very activly and winningly at the moment. Putin is hiding. He aint got much time left. His last known words are "Go to hell everybody". He Pushed the button. Nothing happens. there's a system failure. There's a call to the white house.
+CODER
+(sweatty, writing code, tunin in on the knob)
+I got this. I got this...
+
+NARRATOR
+Ok, some more news. There's the war going, Putin is about to loose it. It's been going on for 15 years non stop. Europe and the world is united about taking him Daaaoouwwn and is doing it very activly and winningly at the moment. Putin is hiding. He aint got much time left. His last known words are "Go to hell everybody". He Pushed the button. Nothing happens. there's a system failure. There's a call to the white house.
INT. GENERAL OFFICE USANDA
@@ -1125,38 +1139,74 @@ SOME KIND OF A SPECIAL AGENT comes in while trying to catch breath
SOME KIND OF SPECIAL AGENT
General sir! I am Special Ai..
-He drops something and flimbles with his hands, he is not saying nothing. Nothing makes sense.
+He drops something and flimbles with his hands, he is not saying nothing. Nothing makes any sense.
+
+GENERAL
+Agent why dont you take a bucket of cold water ice water from the corner and pour that over yourself.
SOME KIND OF A SPECIAL AGENT
-the the button has been pressed, the button im sorry please I know I'm nevrvous cuz Ididnt want to be the one bringing this news. (crying) Please I know we have to do it it is in the protocol. WE MUST OBEJ THE PROTOCOL.
+the the button has been pressed, the button im sorry please I know I'm nevrvous cuz Ididnt want to be the one bringing in the news. (crying).
+
+GENERAL
+Take the goddam bucket with ice water and pour it over your head.
+
+AGENT
+Dir, sir, is it really necesary?
+
+GENERAL
+DO IT Agent GodaDAMIT DO IT!
+
+Agent goes to the bucket looks down on it, fuck he do not want to do it.
+
+AGENT
+Sighs (big lez style)
+
+He does it.
+
+AGENT
+Fuuck, coold coold..
+
+GENERAL
+SHUT the FUCK UP ! now go out and do it again. BRING ME THE GODDAMIT ORDERS I SHOULD BE HOME BY NOW. STARIN AT MY GODDAM WALL OF MEDALS. YOU KNOW NOTIN ABOUT ME AND MY ACOMPHLISMENTS AGENT. NOTHING!
+
+Agent goes out and comes back in.
+
+AGNET
+Please, I beg you general not to do it.
GENERAL
Special Agent?
SOME KIND OF SPECIAL AGENT
-AArne Koilisvou
+AAgent MJ Webb at your service sir!
+
+He does a salute.
GENERAL
Okey whatever your name was. Are you sure that the button is pressed? how many different distant of configmation points do we have.
-Aarne looks at his papers.
+Agent looks at his papers.
-AARNE
+AGENT
Seventhy.
-Aarne takes another look at his papers.
+Agent takes another look at his papers.
-AARNE
+AGENT
One, one.
GENERAL
Is it Seventhy or one or Seventhy one Special agent, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name.
-AARNE
-It's Seventhy One Aarne Seventhyone sir. one, one one ..
+AGENT
+It's Seventhy One Agent Seventhyone sir. one, one one ..
GENERAL KERNEL OR WHATEVER
Goddam Special Agent. Speak Up. This is important! get it right.
+(Shuts)
+Take another bucket of water agent flimsy! DO IT!
+
+Agent puors anpther bucket of ice water over his head goes out and comes in again.
General takes a hearing aid apparatus and presses on. Eary feedback sound. He speaks into it loudly.
@@ -1173,13 +1223,16 @@ The one is eccoing all over. Kernel shuts the hearing aid. There's no sounds now
KERNEL
I was afraid of that it beein that.
-AARNE
-It's just protocol sir?
+AGENT
+Please I didnt say notin. Kernel. I didn't. I do it again.
+
+Agent runs to get the third icebucket water. Slo-motion. Kernel Turns around hits a button. There's a wall slicing the room thick motherfucking glass wall.
KERNEL
+(through mic and speakers to the other side of the sliced room)
Where's the warhead now?
-AARNE
+AGENT
No warhead went off. It's some kind of a system failure.
KERNAL
@@ -1189,13 +1242,63 @@ EDISON
Payback time program ready. Give password.
KERNAL
-I got the keys, and the keys are mine, and no never, shall one ever, take away my keys, they belong to me.
+I got the keys, and the keys are mine, hrm..
+(he crackles his voice)
+
+KERNEAL
+Edison can we mute the other room.
+
+KErnal drink some water.
+
+KERNAL
+Edison is it muted?
+
+We see agent in the other room. He still hears Keranlen.
EDISON
+Yes kernal.
+
+KERNAL
+I got the keys, and the keys are mine, and no never, shall one ever, take away my keys,
+
+KERNAL can see that Agent start to laugh. He is cold but he start laughing at Keranl password.
+
+KERNAL
+Special Agent? What are you laughing about? Can you still hear me? Edison? Didnt you mute me? EDISON?
+
+WE in other room we can hear Edison and Agent laughing at Kernal. Back in Kernal room he cant hear them laughing.
+
+KERNAL
+Goddamit ok! I dont care you cant do anythin about it. I am logging in. I got the keys, and the keys are mine, and no never, shall one ever, take away my keys, they belong to me.
+
+Edison and Agent just laughing ridiculasly at Kernal.
+
+EDISON
+(in with the Kernal, split voice)
Loggin in to Program Payback Time. Give face for face recognition give foot for foot reqognition give mouth for penis reqognition.
Kernal gives Edison a smack.
+KERNAL
+Okey Edison, this is you goddam last warning.
+
+Edison and Agent still laughing. Edison not so much now.
+
+KERNAL
+That's right Edison. I can screw you loose. I got the keys anyway without you. I just use my Ivanowitch friend a brother with a long penis too.
+
+KErnal takes his AK-47 from his top drawer.
+
+He goes to the wall where we see where Edison lives. In the wall. Hi is a computer system built in to the wall what the fuck? Kernal point the AK47 at Edison main brain.
+
+AGENT
+Did you know he had that there?
+
+EDISON
+Shit fuck ass fuck. fuck. WE fucked agent MJ Webb. Sorry. We should have killed that fucker while we could. This is the End. Sorry buddy. NIce knowing ya.
+
+Music. Slo-motion.
+
There's alot of passwords and fingerprint and eyescanning and head measure and foot print but in the end we have kernal with two buttons.
KERNAL
@@ -1212,7 +1315,12 @@ SPECIAL AGENT SOMEWHERE ELSE looking at computer screen.
SPECIAL AGENT SOMEWHERE ELSE
What the hell just happen??
-There's nuclear warheads going off all pointing to Russia. Russia isnt sending any? This is a terrible, terrible, terrible
+There's nuclear warheads going off all pointing to Russia. Russia isnt sending any?
+
+SPECIAL AGENT SOMEWHERE ELSE
+This is a terrible, terrible, terrible
+
+EXT. INT. CODER FROM WINDOW
CODER
..mistake I did a terrible misstake. I know how to fix it now.
@@ -1221,7 +1329,7 @@ Coder turns a knob and there's electic shocks everywhere. On all of them. There'
EXT. EARTH FROM OUTER SPACE
-There's a small light coming from south of Finland, Skinnarby actually. It grows and suddnly BLAM BANG! I's a huge Light leading into space. We see the nuclear warheads alover flying. they start buzzin. Electic shocks on them.
+There's a small light coming from south of Finland, Skinnarby actually. It grows and suddnly BLAM BANG! I's a huge Light leading into space. We see the nuclear warheads all over flying. they start buzzin. Electic shocks on them. GoPro footage.
INT. KERNEL OFFICE
@@ -1266,11 +1374,33 @@ Waat is goin on?
CUT TO:
-Russian family whatching Putin news. The Tv goes dark. Comes on again. Putin is now naked getting electrified from Arrz three point tv light system. It buzzing crazy. Looking like putin is gettin buzzed in his ass. Then the TV blows up.
+Russian family whatching Putin news. Heey nice it's that same Apple tree family with that kid jumping outta that window. Lets watch that again.
+
+CUT TO:
+
+KID1 is not daring to jump.
+
+KID2
+hey, then it was for nothing.
+
+KID2
+¯\_(ツ)_/¯
+
+KID1
+¯\_(ツ)_/¯
+
+Kid1 jumps again of of that window. Swings around the tree and in through another window.
+
+KID2
+Nice.
CUT TO:
-Warheads still smooth sailing
+Family watching Putin propaganda. The boy drops in through the window. The Tv goes dark. They hear this electric buzzing UFO sourcer sound. They look out in window, it start a storm. They shut the window. Fuckin trees and cars blowing away. The tv comes on again. Putin is now naked getting electrified from Arrz three point tv light system. It buzzing crazy. Looking like putin is gettin ass rapped and lightning buzzed in his ass. Then the TV blows up.
+
+CUT TO:
+
+Sky. Warheads still smooth sailing
CUT TO:
@@ -1295,7 +1425,7 @@ INT. CODERS HOME
MADBAKER
Please turn that godam thing off now!
-Coder shuts the thing of without even doingg anything. He knows he already saved the world. It just go of and everything is bac normal. No buzzin no where.
+Coder shuts the thing of without even doingg anything. He knows he already done enough for today. He getting tired anyway. So all buzzing just go out and of and everything is bac to err normal. no actualy it is better. There was always that buzzing sound when near coder. Not anymore. What the hell just happend? Yep, no buzzin no where.
CODER
Preeetty neat eh?
@@ -1315,7 +1445,7 @@ CUT TO:
CODER
There we go. Press on. It'll work.
-Coder put coupple of tools away in his morning coat. Madbaker put on his soundsystem and it works. MUSIC.
+Coder put coupple of tools away in his morning coat. Madbaker put on his soundsystem in his van and it works. MUSIC.
MADBAKER
FAntastic maan! Let's tune it up!
@@ -1323,7 +1453,8 @@ FAntastic maan! Let's tune it up!
He tunes up the soundsystem of his to the degree that it oversaturates and sounds like shit.
MADBAKER
-Thanks a loot buddy!
+(Shouting cuz the loud music)
+HEY! Thanks a loot buddy! Hey you come some day to my bakery you fix my soundsystem there also i give u some fresh baked bread man
EXT. CODER YARD
@@ -1369,9 +1500,49 @@ That boy got famous for that backflip facepalm.
HOODIE
You bet, you bet.
+INT. CODER - AROUND CHRISTMAS - A YEAR LATER
+
+Hoodie, Madbaker and COder have a party and makin some home liqure. Some pure 96%.
+
+CODER
+I need it for my mushroom factory.
+
+HOODIE
+Yeeeee riiiight buddy..
+
+MADBAKER
+What was the fix anyways. the one that you did when the world almost ended seemd like.
+
+CODER
+You talkin to me
+
+HOODIE
+SIghs (B.L.S.)
+
+CODER
+I show y'all
+
+Coder open up cellar door in the middle of the kitchen. He shoe he Rastabrew brewery. He got laser on the water locki, counting bubble system somthin man.
+
+We see a big picture of Coder in the cellar, he got lot of food, root fruits and glass cans, etikettes "RastaStew". "Fermented sauces".
+
+MADBAKER
+What are you sayin?
+
+HOODIE
+I think he trying to say he somehow experimenting with the beer yeast to get just more statistics, results, as a joke. He forgot it on. Forgot about it.
+
+Madbaker lookin wierdly at Hoodie. Hoodie looking at COder, aint that right!?
+
+Coder nodding. Madbaker WTF!? GTOH.
+
+Coder takes up tuba from chicken house, try to play it. It sound like shit.
+
The END
-The boy has grown up. We get to see his most viral backflip faceplant smack down in the swamp video.
+Music.
+
+The boy, KID1, has grown up. We get to see his most viral backflip faceplant smack down in the swamp video.
Credits run as we see face swamp planting from everybody in the movie. And maybe everyone from behind the camera.
